Explanations for my absence from the bloggosphere.

It all began some months ago, when I was at the drive in, watching "The Colour Purple". Just as the climax of the movie arrived, I heard a knock. *Tappity tap tap.* It went, * Tappity tappity tap tap tappity too.* Looking out of the green tinted window of my oversized puce Citroen, I recognized the distinct shape of a smartly dressed peacock duo. They wore tailored suits with enormous gold clocks hanging around their necks, the weight of which seemed to be causing them some trouble. Setting aside my fried duck, hoping they had not noticed I had been eating one of their poultry pals, I asked them how I could be of service. They replied by presenting me with a briefcase full of blunt, slightly copper coloured knives, and clucked in my direction. For some time they incessantly clucked at me, looking earnest, occasionally stopping to nodd, or just for dramatic effect.They continued to cluck for a while, until they became so tired and enraged by my constant confusion they had to sit down. After a short tea break, (no tea was offered to me, I might add.) They ushered my to their vehicle, a rather substantial looking black bus, sat me down, and can't really remember much, except for more clucking, and the words: "Frying-pan" and "Business card".
Then I woke up. Three hours ago. In a local ditch. I'm wearing a sombrero, my left foot is on fire and I reek of cheap vodka.
So, in my inebriated state, I stumbled over to a conveniently placed 24 hr internet cafe on the opposite side of the ditch, and here we are...
I am not looking forward to this possibly decade-long hangover.
End captain's log.

My Great Friend Buddies 1#

Gerald PG thinks that he could breathe some life into this Non-Denominational House Of by introducing you to some of his friends.

Gerald PG also thinks that it is a good idea to write in the 3rd person.

But Gerald PG realises that this make things a bit irritating for everybody, so he'll stop that now.
I met Christmas Worm back in my Krazy Kollege days, at one of the various frat parties I gatecrashed (however I was never caught, being an enigma and all). At the time, he was just coming to terms with his alcohol addiction and I like to feel as though I helped him through that difficult, difficult time in his life.


Note to self: start a Diffi Cult.

Christmas Worm very much liked to fish, so we decided that we'd go fishing together for the Phonebook of the Gods. The Phonebook Of The Gods contained all the phone numbers of all the gods (except for Eros, who had discarded his phone due to all the angrywhopper/threatening phone calls he received from disgruntled ex-lovers).
Spoiler warning: We never caught that elusive Phonebook Of The Gods. Perhaps the Yarra was the wrong place to be looking, I don't know.

Christmas Worm is my 3.5th best friend of absolute all-time, space-time, fun-time for reals.